comfortable

Somewhere between Harvard metal bands and Israel, I realized I've disarmed this all before.




Just not all at once.





There was the one who controlled sections of the midwest via blackberry. I'd skip geometry to run across the parking lot, jump in his car and head down state to chew on food I can't even pronounce. It was fun to play grown up while you ignored me and chatted business and I wondered if you ever checked your e-mail in bed. I tried to keep you young and you tried to make things serious. I always declined. I am not the type to be a solid investment. Back to my reaI world, felt like a little kid who’s just won Monopoly. It’s a smile like that.



There is one who was out to save the world. The heart of Ghandi and a face like a movie star. We'd lay in bed talking about microfinance in Africa, kissing when our hearts got too heavy. We'd draw strategies on each other's skin about how if American's would put the money they do towards ice cream to poverty, the world would be saved and we could just lay in bed all day. When that got old, we'd put a blanket on the grass and talk about physics. We'd turn the string theory into cat's cradle before passing out in each other's arms. Back from outer space, I felt like Mother Theresa with a cool prom date. It's a smile like that.




There was one who drinks whiskey in churches. He called me from a hotel in LA to play me new guitar riff. He makes me walk around the city in sunglasses and we take pictures climbing poles. We jump on the bed with music too loud and our drinks stain the ceiling. I collapse and he plays the drums on my side talking about New York, Seattle, and Germany. We build a fort, but never sleep. You have a concert in Chicago and I am in the real world again. I wake up and have ice cream for breakfast. It’s a smile like that.



Then last night I met you. My favorite thing about us is the fact that we both made the same $20,000 mistake at age 18. Only you don't know that about me yet. You don't know much about me yet, not many do. You want me to stop laughing so much and I want you to learn how to jump on the bed, but we both want to make sure every heart never ever has to break alone. That's what really matters. And the fact that you stand up when I walk in the room.

I give you the smile that says I think you are perfect, but you can't quite figure that out because I don't throw myself at you due to your last name. I don't care I don't care I don't care. Today I woke up in the real world and I am still spinning.